Music has gotten me through some hard times in my life.

It just gets to me.

But WHY am I still singing and crying and praying the same things I prayed when I was 15 years old?!

EX: “I wanna be beautiful, to make You stand in awe, Look inside my heart and be amazed.

I want to hear You say who I am is quite enough, I wanna be worthy of love, and beautiful.”

“Gaze into my eyes, let me know you’d fight thousands for my love. Slip your hand in mine, ask me to dance with you tonight. Just ask me, for my love… I WANNA BE PURSUED!”

When I start thinking I have it all figured out and have everything under control, I stop depending on God. It’s a never-ending cycle with me.

Why do I keep shrinking back to the person I used to be, that person that I DON’T want to be… that person that I strived to get away from? Why do I always go back to my “old ways”?

One major thing I have seemed to be struggling with is being unhappy. Why can I not seem to find joy in the Lord? Why do I let my happiness be based on my circumstances? That is not what God asks of me. Yet it is what I do!!! I’m so selfish…

I want passion.  I want God to truly reveal what He wants me to do with my life.  Right now I feel so uncertain about a lot of things.  Should I stay in school longer?  Should I try to graduate next May after all?  Should I…?… never mind.  

All I want to do is sing, but even with that I haven’t gotten any opportunities to sing in soo long.

GIVE ME CONFIDENCE, LORD!  I know You have given me soo many gifts and talents to use for you… I believe that.  I just can’t see it right now.  Give me those opportunities to learn about and use my passion.  Help me discover exactly what it is that You want me to be. 

I have felt so immature lately.  HELP ME NOT BE STUCK AS A confused FIFTEEN YEAR OLD FOREVER!

i’d been doing so good and then something happens and BAM!

it sets me back.

i don’t like when that happens.

i have my good days and my bad days…

my good weeks and my bad weeks…

this is seeming like a bad week.

yet God is faithful… even when I can’t feel Him all the time, I know He is there.   I TRUST that to be true!  I cling to that fact!!!

I crumble at Your kiss and grace
I’m a weakling in the dust
Teach me how to cling to You
With all my life and all my love

Father come to me, hold me up ’cause I can barely stand
My strength is gone and my breath is short, I can’t reach out my hands
But my heart is set on a pilgrimage to heaven’s own bright King
So in faltering or victory I will always sing

And on the road to beautiful
My seasons always change
But my life is spent on loving You
To know You in Your power and pain

You’re my portion in this life
You’re my strength now in my fight
And to You I pledge my heart
In the pain and in the dark I’ll love You
I’ll love You, I’ll love You

I’ll love You…

1. I secretly wish my life was a musical.

2. I love hugs. They absolutely make my day.

3. I’ve always wanted to sit on the beach and watch lightning hit sand…then go dig up the sand that the lightning hit. (and yes, I’ve wanted to do this even before seeing Sweet Home Alabama.)

4. I plan on living in Italy sometime before I die.

5. I am NOT a shy person. Many people believe that I am, but they don’t know me at all.

6. I love love love road trips…probably more than anybody should.

7. I enjoy cheesy pickup lines.

8. I’m probably one of the most random and spontaneous people you will ever meet.

9. I like the smell of Target.

10. I have bad luck…really. If you don’t believe me, ask me about my first day at SFA.

11. When I was little, I wanted to be an Olympic gymnast.

12. I am overly obsessed with itunes and music in general.

13. I write poetry, but I’m not confident enough to show it to anybody.

14. I love to ride 4 wheelers…and fish. I love to fish.

15. I’ve always been told that i’m a mystery and an unreadable book. I don’t know how I’m a mystery, but I really want to know what that means.

16. The smell of peanut butter makes me gag, as does the smell of ketchup and cardboard.

17. I never say the word “hi” unless something is wrong.

18. I would LOVE to be on Broadway.

19. I don’t like going to a unfamiliar place alone or walking into a place full of people alone.

20. I enjoy it when people ask me what’s on my mind.

21. I like fireplaces & cold weather & hot chocolate & a good movie.

22. I prefer hanging out with boys over girls…less drama and they tend to be funnier

23. I have a serious phobia of death and dying after watching a man burn to death when I was 4 years old.

24. I like man smells.

25. I want to work for Extreme Makeover: Home Edition.

A daughter needs a dad…

To learn that when he says it will be okay, it will.
Who will make sacrifices so she will not have to sacrifice.
To teach her that value as a person is more than the way she looks.
Who will laugh at her at all the right times.
Who will always have time to give her hugs & kisses.
Who does not mind when she steps on his shoes while dancing.
Who will always make sure she has a place to come home to.
Who will never think she is too old to need him.
To make the family whole & complete.
Who will not punish her for her mistakes, but help her learn from them.
To teach her to believe that she deserves to be treated well.
To teach her to accept the differences in others.
To teach her to weight the consequences of her actions & make decisions accordingly.
So she will know what it’s like to be somebody’s favorite.
To tell her truthfully that she is the most beautiful of all.
To protect her from scary nighttime creatures.
To answer the questions that keep her awake at night.
To make the complex simple & the painful bearable.
To protect her from thunder & lightning.
To teach her that family is more important than work.
to be the safe spot she can always turn to.
To show her how it feels to be loved unselfishly.
To be the standard against which she will judge all men.
Who will influence her life even when he isn’t with her.
To teach her that she is equal to her husband.
To tell her that all is not hopeless, even when she feels it is.
To join her journey when she is too afraid to walk alone.
To teach her the meaning of integrity and how to avoid the crooked path.
To make the tough decisions for her until she is able to make them for herself.
So that she will have at least one hero who will not let her down.
To tuck her in at night.
To protect her when she is not wise enough to protect herself.
To help her take the risks that will build her confidence.
To teach her that forgiving is a natural thing to do.
To teach her that she can forgive more than once.
To teach her the difference between being firm & being stubborn.
To teach her that respect is to be earned, as he has earned hers.
To prepare her to persevere through hardship.
Who will let her know that while she may not be the center of someone else’s world, she is the center of his.
To be the history of her family for her own children.
To learn what she should expect from her husband.
To teach her how to be responsible for others.
To teach her to preserve her dignity during difficult times.
To help her believe in herself as a parent, and that in discipline there is hope.
To teach her what it means to always be there.
To teach her that a man’s strength is not the force of his hand or his voice, but the kindness of his heart.
To teach her to be honest in all her dealings.
To teach her patience and kindness.
To teach her when to be firm and when to compromise.
To help her try again whenever she fails.
To remind her of what she may not remember.
To give her the gentle pushes that help her grow.
So that when no one else is there for her, she can close her eyes & see him.
To give her the guidance she needs as she begins to resolve her own troubles.
To pull her back when she is headed in the wrong direction.
To think highly of her when no one else will.
To hold her as she cries.
To carry her just because she wants to be carried.
To set a moral standard for her.
To share with her the wisdom she has not yet acquired.
Who teaches her she is important by stopping what he is doing to watch her.
To remind her of the comfort of being held near & feeling secure.
To build a loving house on a foundation of wisdom & understanding.
To teach her to recognize truth and reward it.
To teach her to recognize sincerity and encourage it.
To teach her about fairness.
To teach her to stand up for herself.
To teach her the importance of being a lady.
Who gives her refuge in a home secured with faith.
To teach her the joy of serving others.
To calm her when she is stressed by her challenges.
To give her a strong, willful character.
To teach her how things work.
To fix her favorite things.
To show her how to fix things for herself.
To show her that true love is unconditional.
To teach her that loving her family is a priority.
To teach her that ignorance is not an excuse for anything.
To teach her not to let pride get in the way of discovering new things.
To teach her to experiment for the sake of testing her own assumptions.
To teach her how to focus her mind in the midst of distraction.
To teach her that a joyful heart is filled with peace rather than deceit.
To tell her all she needs to know about boys.
To show her that all boys are not like the one who hurt her.
To teach her how to recognize a gentleman.
To stand with her on the day she marries the man she hopes will be just like her father.
To teach her when to be cautious.
To teach her that men and women can be good friends.
To teach her to learn from her experiences.
To teach her what kind of man to choose to be the father of her children.
To help her become the best mother she can be.
To help her raise her children with strong family values.
To teach her that her role in a family is greater than the work she does.
To help her find her way in life.
To show her the benefits of hard work.
To help around the house so that her mother will have time to spend with her, too.
To teach her to spend responsibly, save for a rainy day, and give with a generous heart.
To help her finish her work when she is too weary to finish it herself.
So she learns that men can be trustworthy.
Because without him, she will have less in her life than she deserves.

Its been a bad day, you’ve been looking back
And all you can see is everything you wish you could take back
All your mistakes, a world of regrets
All of those moments you would rather forget
I know it’s hard to believe
Let me refresh your memory

Yesterday is history
And history is miles away
So leave it all behind you
Let it always remind you of the day
The day that love made history

You know you can’t stay right where you fell
The hardest part is forgiving yourself
But let’s take a walk into today
And don’t let your past get in the way

Would you believe that you are history
In the making, in the making
Every choice that you are making
Every step that you are taking
Every chain that you are breaking
History is in the making
Every word that you are saying
Every prayer that you are praying
Every chain that you are breaking
History is in the making
History is in the making

Every word that you are saying
Every prayer that you are praying
Every chain that you are breaking
History is in the making