2. Have you taken down your Christmas decorations?

I’m leaving my Christmas tree up because it’s decorated all purple…can I use SFA spirit as an excuse to leave my tree up?? :)

3. What did you do for New Years Eve?

My boyfriend and I double-dated with another couple in Lufkin. We went to Cheddar’s and then the guys went to see MI:4 and the girls went to see New Year’s Eve. (We thought seeing NYE on NYE was appropriate…)

4. Do you like accents?
I love accents, as long as I can understand them.

5. What kind of television do you have?

A flat, black one. Vizio? Is that a kind of TV? I don’t pay the slightest bit of attention.

6. Did you make any changes at the beginning of 2012?

I’m still working on the changes that need to be made.

7. What’s the last book you read and do you recommend it?
I read “BossyPants” by Tina Fey and it is HYSTERICAL. Do not eat or drink anything while you’re reading this book.

8. Do you stay current on celebrity gossip?
I read the front pages of Yahoo and the magazine covers at the store, but other than that, no.

9. Do you know the words to Bohemian Rhapsody? Gangstas Paradise? Fresh Prince of Bel-Air?
Every word. No. Every word.

10. What is your favorite educational television show?

Is Intervention an educational show? I’ve learned a lot about drugs, alcohol, and eating disorders. Learning = educating….right??

Stop stressing. The phrase “stop stressing” really irritates me because it’s easier said than done. Everyone deals with stress in a different way. Some people go running, some people skydive, and some people go driving. I deal with stress by living in my sweats, staying in bed and sleeping ALOT. I’ve been known to make myself sick with stress. (Anybody have tips on how to fix that? Anybody? My ears are open…) People get frustrated with me because I don’t know how to properly handle my stress. I understand that and I would be frustrated with me, too. I’ve got a lot of important things to lose and I try to hide my stress in order to keep from losing those things. (Does that make any sense whatsoever? I’m going with “no.”)

You’ve got time. I really don’t feel like I do. I feel like I’m supposed to know what I want to do already. I mean, I’ve had my entire college career to think about it, right?? Many people around me jumped out of college and fell into wonderful, perfect jobs that they love. I’m happy for them…really, I am. At the same time, I’m completely jealous because I want to fall into a wonderful, perfect career that I love. I don’t want to do an internship or go to grad school or get my Master’s or take any certification tests. I just want to find something that I love to do. Is that so hard?

You’re going to make mistakes. I’m not good at making mistakes. I want to be really good at everything that I do. I know perfection is not an option and I’ve accepted that. I tend to be really hard on myself when I make a mistake or when I feel that people are disappointed in me. I do my best to please people and I need to stop. I know that I do, but I’m getting better (I think). For a long time, I did a really good job of fooling people into believing that I had my life together, that I was strong enough to deal with whatever came my way and keep a positive attitude. However, I’m tired of people-pleasing and I still don’t know how to deal with making mistakes.

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If anybody has any advice, leave a comment, send me an email, Facebook me, text me. Please don’t talk to me about it in person. I’m not good at talking about my feelings face-to-face. (Hence, the blog.)

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I’m stressed out about the Christmas gifts that I still need to buy, rent that needs to be paid, bills due tomorrow, thank-you notes to write, packing for the quick trip to my parent’s house this weekend, finalizing plans for my new job, putting in applications to my professional internship (if I decide that’s what I want to do), fixing/apologizing for an argument that I feel bad about, thinking about how my parents are about to cut me off financially now that I’m “in the real world”, trying to plan and budget for that huge adjustment, thinking about how to be a better daughter/sister/friend/girlfriend…

Rant over. My thoughts are out.

2. Do you volunteer?
I do. It’s not easy when your schedule is super busy, but it’s all about priorities.

3. What’s your favorite brand of jeans?
I’m a huge fan of Old Navy dark-wash Sweethearts.

4. What was your child’s first word? Or what was your first word?
I have no idea what my first word was. Probably something lame.

5. Can you french braid?
I cannot. Sometimes, I wish I could.

6. Do you prefer wide rule, college rule, or blank paper?

College-rule. Absolutely.

7. Is there a specific treat do you always make during the holidays?

Not usually. I’ve become completely obsessed with Pinterest, though…so that may change.

8. Do you have a KitchenAid mixer? Do you want one?

I absolutely want one. I’ve been eyeing the teal one…

9. What kind of computer do you use?

MacBook Pro. Once you go Mac, you never go back.

10. Favorite Christmas movie?

National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation, hands down. I think I’ve watched it every day of December thus far.

2. How many times do you wear your jeans before you watch them?
It depends. Typically twice for each pair of jeans that I own.

3. What is your favorite pasta shape?
Whatever is short and easy to pick up with a fork…no spaghetti.

4. Do you read newspapers?
Not usually. Everything I ever needed to know is online.

5. Do you sleep in socks?
Sometimes. Or I start off with socks and then kick them off in my sleep.

6. Favorite genre of movies?
Comedies, musicals, romantic comedies.

7. How do you feel about wrestling?
I think it’s dumb and I don’t understand it.

8. Should men pluck their eyebrows?
No. Unless you have a unibrow or look like a JoBro, then no.

9. Do you have dimples?
No. Sometimes, I sure wish I did though.

1. What are your pantry staples? Cinnamon Toast Crunch, peppermint tea, coffee, sugar, tortilla chips, Splenda, peanut butter, Nutella, Ritz, bread, tortillas.
2. What are your refrigerator staples? Soy milk, some kind of juice, butter, eggs, strawberry jelly, chocolate syrup, CoffeeMate, salsa, ranch dressing, ketchup, mustard, mayo, a few different kinds of cheese, ham, onion, cilantro, spinach leaves, popcorn chicken (yes, I know this a freezer staple…). I know something is missing.
3. What are the top three non-physical things you would change aboutyourself? I would be more outgoing, less worried/stressed out, and much less stubborn.
4. What’s holding you back from your dream job?(If you already have your dream job, how did you get there?) My number one dream job is to be a music-recommender. I don’t even think that jobs exists, but it should. I just want people to come to me and ask for new music. Can I get paid to do that somehow? Please?
5. You have $500 to spend but it has to be on one item only. Go. Plane ticket. Easy.
6. What is something that you are embarrassed to admit you buy on aregular basis? I don’t buy much. I get Chick-fil-A more than I should, but even then, it’s not often.
7. What’s in/on your bed every night? Me, a fitted sheet, a top sheet, a down comforter, comforter, two pillows, body pillow, a hoodie under my pillow, and my phone.
8. What is a non-necessity item that, no matter how expensive it getsor how tight your budget is, you will always find room for it? I am completely obsessed with Bath & Body Works Twisted Peppermint Scrub and Shea Butter. It leaves your skin soft, smooth, exfoliated, and glowing. I can’t get enough of it. (It’s only available during the holidays, so I typically stock up at their post-Christmas sale!)
9. What is the weirdest sandwich you’ve ever made? For years, my favorite sandwich was Price’s Pimiento Cheese and Gulden’s spicy mustard. My mom got grossed out just making it. Looking back, I can see how that was completely gag-worthy.
10. Would you rather: Be banned from Pinterest forever, but gain amillion captive Twitter followers; or, never get on Facebook again butgain five thousand blog readers? At this point, I need rehab for my Pinterest addiction. (Step one is admitting you have a problem, right?) I couldn’t be banned from Pinterest. I can get Facebook news from other places.

I‘m currently reading “Christian Atheist” by Craig Groeschel and “Love, Sex, and Dating Relationships” by Chip Ingram. Both are thinkers. I never sit down to read them without my bible, journal, highlighter, and pen. They are THAT good. These are easily books that will be read, reread, and re-reread.

Current Playlist:

Manchester Orchestra. Blink-182. Nicki Minaj. The Surrender Sound. Givers. MxPx. Vampire Weekend. Ingrid Michaelson.

Current Shame-Inducing Guilty Pleasure:

I cry over Grey’s Anatomy like it’s real life. Don’t judge me (even though I’m pretty sure I just saw you roll your eyes…).

Current Color:

Turquoise, charcoal gray, and black are my favorites right now.

Current Drink:

I’m on a Dr. Pepper icee kick. They’re too cheap and too good for me to pass up. It’s a little sad.

Current Food:

Nothing, really.

Current Favorite Show:

I’m watching Grey’s Anatomy and Prison Break on Netflix. HOOKED.

Current Wishlist:

A vinyl record player. Civil Wars tickets. An iPad. A Vera Bradley Folkloric All-in-One wristlet. iTunes gift card. Peppermint Mocha Coffeemate. White Christmas lights for my room. A trip to Sea World when it’s cool outside. John Hughes movies. Boy Meets World seasons. Bath & Body Works candles. “Bossy Pants” by Tina Fey.

Current Needs:

Provision. Patience. Rest. Peace. Calm. Joy. Guidance. Clarification.

Current Triumphs:

I am so proud of my recent Adobe Illustrator projects. I have never been so excited to create.

Current Bane(s) of my Existence:

The uncertainty of post-graduation plans. *insert 1st movement of Beethoven’s 5th Symphony.*

Current Celebrity Crush:

Honest-to-goodness, I don’t think I have one.

Current Indulgence:

Netflix. Oh muh goodness, it’s Netflix.

Current #1 Blessing:

Provision. God is the ultimate provider and He is SO faithful!

Current Slang or Saying:

I don’t really have any sayings…I quote movies and TV shows more than anything else…so there’s really no telling what’s gonna come out of my mouth next.

Current Excitement:

One of my dearest friends, @KristinRae1124, is getting married on Saturday!

Current Mood:

I’m not sure how to describe this mood…it’s a mixture of relief, brokenness, determination, confusion…and now you’re probably as confused as I am…

I miss my Nannie. She was one of the greatest women I ever had the honor of knowing. Every time I hear thunder, I remember her fondly and laugh because of what the thunder symbolizes. Nan, we love you and miss you, but we know that you’re in better Hands now. Thank you for your legacy.

Boyfriend <3

Meeting The Civil Wars at Common Grounds for my birthday

Attempting to take a normal picture with Kirsten Anne

Photoshoot with Sarahhh at Pine Cove

Shooting the annual Christmas card

Crusader Homecoming game with Quincy

“IS THAT DIET PINK LEMONADE??!”

TEAM CAMO

Do da Heisman on dat hoe!

Killing time at Randi & Bobby’s wedding reception

Rock the Desert weekend with JadeAli and Cory

Jumping on the bed with Kendall & Avery

I went home for a weekend and I was driving through Temple on my way back to SFA, I had a meltdown in my car and cried all the way through Temple. I remember saying, “God, if Nacogdoches is where I’m supposed to be, then I’ll stay. I don’t know why in the world You want me there, but I’ll trust You and be obedient because Your plan is better than mine. You have always been faithful and provided for me before and I know You’ll do it again.” As soon as I prayed that, I passed a church marquee that said, “God’s plan is better than yours.”

BAM.

I started getting excited because in a short amount of time (and only two miles), I got the confirmation that I had been praying for. I kept on praying and said, “God, while I’m in Nacogdoches, I feel like there’s no hope of success and that I’m going to end up a failure. As soon as I’m home, that feeling goes away & I feel like I can do anything I want to do. I just want to know there’s hope of succeeding.” Before I had even pulled out of my driveway in Belton, I had turned on KLUV (a local Christian radio station) and I forgot it was on during my meltdown. While I was praying about having hope, I felt like I needed to turn up the radio. There was a song on by Brian Littrell (yes, from the Backstreet Boys) called “In Christ Alone.” The first words that I heard were :

“In Christ alone
I place my trust
And find my glory in the power of the cross
In every victory
Let it be said of me
My source of strength
My source of hope
Is Christ alone.”

As soon as I pulled in to Nacogdoches, “Desert Song” by Hillsong came on. The last words that I heard before turning off my car were “God is my victory & He is here.” I’ve had a peace & a comfort knowing that I am exactly where I’m supposed to be, even two years later. I have gotten involved in amazing ministries and organizations, made friends that I will know for life, had once-in-a-lifetime opportunities, and met the most amazing man. (I swore I would never meet anybody in this “podunk, redneck town” and once again, God rocked my world.) By choosing to trust that God’s plan is better than mine, I learned so much about myself but more importantly, I learned so much about who God is. I love knowing that He is in control of every situation and that His hand covers it all. His love is unlike any other, His mercies are new every morning, His timing is perfect, and HE IS FAITHFUL. My life and my testimony are proof of that.