Make-Up Smeared Eyes.

So…lately, I’ve been sitting on the sidelines of my own life debating on whether or not I wanted to fight for the relationships that I have with my “friends” or just let them go and start from scratch. For the majority of the relationships, I decided that I was willing to fight for them, mostly because they were important to me, and I figured that if the other person wasn’t willing to fight for our relationship, then it must not be as important as I had once thought. For the other relationships, the ones that put me on the fence, I’m still deciding whether or not to fight for those or just let them go. A couple of things to consider from these relationships:

(1) During one of the hardest times of my life, this person/these people sent me a face book message telling me to “grow up & get over it…” when I asked for help & prayer. It made me really think twice about how much I wanted to be around this person/the group that this person represented. So for awhile, I’ve been staying away and avoiding contact with this person/group of people.

(2) As I’ve been sitting on the sidelines, I’ve gotten several nasty face book/text messages from this same person/group of people. One day, I got a message saying, “when is your friend coming back to our group??” I proceeded to tell this person that she was busy with her church group and wouldn’t be back for awhile. This certain person sounded disappointed, and I couldn’t help but ask this person why he would have the nerve to ask about my friend, but not be polite enough to ask about me…ask me when I was coming back. This person went on to say that, “She’s what we’re looking for in our group…you just don’t interact the way we need you to…” I was absolutely floored! This person was supposed to be a “leader” in the group, and he was playing favorites…or trying to customize the group according to his ideas of what the group should be like.

(3) Needless to say, this last scenario is about the same person/group of people. I went to a party that this group held a couple weeks back. I had a good attitude about going & I was ready to see the people that I hadn’t seen in awhile. When I showed up, two people said hi, and that was the only interaction I got for the entire night. As much as I tried to jump in and talk and interact with this group, they kept brushing me off or walking away. After two hours of this, I decided to leave and I sat in my car in the driveway where the party was being held and cried my eyes out. I felt like I was 100% invisible to these people & there was nothing I could do to change it.

 

I’m on the fence. I would love to say that I’m willing to fight for these relationships, but honestly, I’m not sure that I have the strength or the energy. Unless this person/group of people can prove to me that I’m important enough to be around, I’m done with these relationships. I would hate to see that day come, but I’ll let it come if need be.