It’s simple, really.

I don’t know what it is about simple things that brighten my day and make my heart smile, but I enjoy simple things. I had the pleasure of encountering many pleasant simple things over spring break, and it made me realize just how amazing life can be.

These are a few of my favorite things:

Sitting on green grass watching trains roll by.
Laying on the trampoline and gazing at the stars.
Jukeboxes.
A free green tea from Starbucks.
The smell of Febreze.
A compliment from a total stranger.
Dancing in my car when I’m sitting at a red light.
A card in the mail.
Standing on the Belton dam with nobody around.
Old school diners where waitresses roll around on skates.
Laughing at myself for doing something dumb.
Automatic car washes.
Free songs from itunes.
Chill music, like Iron&Wine and the Wallflowers.
A cool breeze.
Sitting on a dock fishing.
Walking around in Miller Springs.
A comforting text message.

These things put my mind at ease.
They make me happy.

A Logical Fascination with Pinball Machines.

I wrote this over a year ago but this week, as I was roadtripping all over, I found this quiet oldschool diner where I could just sit and write and relax. There was a pinball machine in that old diner and it brought me back to this poem. I feel like the pinball in the machine.  

ping ping ping FLASHHH ping…..

there is a constant state of motion

a neverending jostle

a repetitive circular force

a beautiful smiling facade facing onlookers

but beneath the glass

a delicate balance is maintained

you have to give just enough

you have to have just enough push to keep from losing this game

afterwards, or until then

it becomes a silent almost depressing sight

an empty shell void of everything

except all its working parts that have yet to work together

pull the lever, take a shot, and rile me up

you’re nothing but shimmer baby, and under the glass your missing parts.

Inhale.Exhale.Repeat.

This is not a whining, griping, complaining kind of post. These are just thoughts that have been consuming my mind within these last two weeks and they must be released.

(1) I’ve been thinking long and hard about what I want to do with my life….where I should transfer to after TC, whether or not to make my major broadbase or specific, and not really liking the idea of leaving Belton. (I really do love this town!!)  This is what I want to do: (a) Go to The Art Institute of Austin, (b) Broadbase my major to cover photography and interior design, and (c) get an apartment outside of Austin.  I know it’s not what I’m supposed to do, but I feel like this might be my chance to make something of myself. I keep telling myself that God has a bigger & better plan…so I’m not going to AI Austin…and I’m trying to be okay with that.

 (2) Work wears me out…physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. I cannot deal with it anymore. There is so much drama, tension, and gossip going on there and I feel like I am unwillingly being pulled into this deep, dark pit. I refuse to be a part of all of this crap. I dread getting up and going to work everyday. In complete honesty, I have cried every day for the last month either before I walk into work or after I leave work. It is a HORRIBLE place to be and it’s supposed to be a Christian environment. I can’t take it anymore and I’m actively searching for a new job.

 (3) My dad is gone for the week. I know that I’ve shared this already. I am a nervous wreck!! I always am when he’s gone. This is going to sound weird, but I feel like I have to be the “man of the house” while he’s away. (Does that make sense?) I feel the need to fix everything that needs fixing, cook dinner every night, and to watch over my family to make sure they are safe at all times. It’s only been two days since he left, and already I’m drained. I don’t know how my dad manages to be the “man of the house” all day every day. I’ve been trying for the last two days and I’m exhausted. Absolutely exhausted.

(4) My birthday is on Tuesday. I have this gut feeling that it’s going to suck. Usually my dad is the one who makes my birthday extra-special (not that my family doesn’t…my dad just gives it an extra OOMPH…),  and it just upsets me that he’s not here to help me celebrate. The rest of my family is busy on my birthday with band concerts, tennis tournaments, and school meetings so I already have an idea of how my birthday is going to go. Blehhhhh.

(5) I’m going fishing in East Texas next week over Spring Break. I cannot wait to get out on the lake with no distractions and just take some time to really relax. I’m ready to put my mind at rest. I’m ready to be back home. Pineywoods, here I come.

 Finally. All consuming thoughts are released. I feel somewhat better.

Inhale. Exhale. Repeat. Inhale. Exhale. Repeat.